Chapter 12

Morning dawned, dark and grey. Rain was pouring down in sheets of water and if it weren't for the promise of a day with Derek I would have been almost certainly saddened by the weather. As it was, it only concerned me so far as to wonder if we should have any time alone inside the palace. 

I needn't have worried. Derek came practically skipping down the hall towards me after breakfast and he quickly grabbed my hand in his and pulled me towards the library. The vast room of shelves and books was empty and we soon found ourselves wrapped up in a game of chess, in front of a roaring fire that was set in the far corner of the room. 

We played for some time and I found myself deeply enjoying every moment. Derek was in high spirits and he regaled me with stories of the lighter side of military life and the pranks he and Brom had found time for during the war. We laughed and teased and it almost felt like old times. 

Almost. Except for those moments when I would notice the way Derek's hand hovered over a chess piece as the veins stood out against his skin and then continued up his forearm. Or the way the light of the fire played against the wrinkles in his face when he smiled or even the way his laugh seemed to resonate from deep within him, as though it sprung from a well of happiness. 

And then there was the fact that Derek's eyes seemed constantly riveted to me, his smile an extension of the gleam that came from inside him when I would say something funny or screw up my face in indecision before moving a piece on the board. He seemed to be watching me with something near fascination and I couldn't keep my heart from pounding out its paniful rhythm when he seemed to lose track of his thoughts and get caught in staring at me. 

These moments filled the morning and into the afternoon. We had lunch brought to us in the library while Derek tried to teach me a new game with a set of dice and a few bones. I wasn't at all good at it but I enjoyed making him laugh with my tries. 

Finally, as the sky darkened in the early afternoon from the onset of new clouds, we moved to sit in front of the window on its large sill as I read aloud to him from an old book we had read as children. 

The story ended and we let the silence continue, listening to the pattering of the rain outside. 

"Megs," Derek asked, still looking outside as his eyebrows came together in thought. "What do you want?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. He kept his gaze on the rain-splattered window. 

"What do you want in life?" I thought for a moment before answering. 

"Happiness. A chance to do good. Love. A family." You, I nearly added, but fortunately stopped myself. "What do you want, Derek?" 

He finally looked over at me and his eyes were alight with an inner fire that seemed to leap towads me in an arc of flame until I felt consumed with it. He leaned barely closer to me but I felt like I could feel him across the distance between us. 

"Happiness," he replied softly, his eyes firm on mine, pulling me closer. "A chance to do good. Love. A family." He paused and I realized I was holding my breath. "To hear your laugh every day," he continued in a whisper. "To see your smile and watch you scrunch up your nose whenever you're thinking." His hand reached out and tilted my chin slightly up. I was breathing again but it was ragged and light, as though I might wake up from this perfect dream if I were to regain my senses. "To watch you love every creature into healing and every human into kindness. To see the good you do every day and the beauty you bring to life. To see your beauty, the way it was meant to be seen." He leaned closer and a smile brought up one corner of his mouth, bringing my attention down to his lips as my heart picked up pace. His voice was barely a breath against my skin but his eyes told me more than his words could have. "To kiss your tempting lips and never let another man near you."'

And then slowly, ever so slowly and gently, he placed his lips against mine and kissed them. And then kissed them again as his hand slid around my neck and held my head in place. And then again as his other arm moved around my waist and pulled me up against him. 

I was completely undone. Nothing in life could have prepared me for the way Derek made me feel in that moment. It wasn't just the way he touched me or the way we seemed to fit perfectly in each other's arms, but it was the way he seemed to see me, as I was meant to be seen. He made me feel and see my own beauty as I could never have done on my own. And in return I wanted to give him all of love and life and happiness. I wanted him to be forever as happy as I was in that moment. 

All too soon Derek pulled away from the kiss, keeping me in his arms as he rested his forehead against mine. His breath sounded almost as bad as mine and I let out an airy laugh. He smiled and rubbed his thumb against the side of my neck. 

"There's one more thing I want, Derek," I managed to say after our hearts had slowed their drum war. He pulled back so he could watch me and I could see a definite twinkle in his eye. 

"What is it, Squirt?" he asked. 

I thought about answering with words but then realized actions spoke louder and I wanted to shout this one thing to the world. 

I slid both arms up around his neck and pulled his face to mine. He smiled against my lips before joining in the kiss with gusto. His intensity caught me by surprise and I was once again breathless. We pulled away with smiles on our faces and then I told him what I wanted. 

"You." 

Chapter 11

The sun was near the western horizon as we left the small village and made our way back towards the palace. The carriage was up ahead with his lord and ladyship inside and Derek and I rode behind. 

The afternoon had been pleasant and fulfilling. We had spent a good deal of it visiting the less fortunate inhabitants of the village who lived nearer the bog and while there Derek had even climbed up to the roof of the Widow McGowan's house to fix her roof. He looked a little like the reckless boy I remembered from before the war when I called up for him to be careful. He smiled down at me and then winked before setting to the work with a good deal of confidence and a little brazenness. I tried not to watch too often as I sat outside with the little ones but I found myself drawn towards the way the sun glinted off his dark hair or seemed to sparkle in his eyes when he chanced to look down at me or the way his muscles stood defined on his arms as he worked. My heart stuttered a few times and I forced myself to focus on the children. 

These memories caused me to blush in the silence as Derek and I rode behind the carriage. The soft glow of the sunset gave the landscape around us an ephemeral sort of tone and I soon lost myself in a smile as a flock of birds took off from the field beside the road, breaking into a flurry of flight against the colored sky. 

I turned my smile to Derek and found that he was looking at me in a way that made my heart shudder to a stop before picking up speed like a horse in a race. My smile slowly faded but I couldn't look away and he didn't seem to have any inclination to do so either. 

Finally, almost reluctantly it seemed, he quirked up one side of his mouth and then looked away. I felt my heart slow down to a normal pace and I shook my head quickly to rid myself of some highly un-sisterrly thoughts. 

We reached the castle just as the sun set below the horiizon. We stopped in front of the stables and Derek quickly dismounted before coming to help me do the same. 

His hands felt strangely unfamilar on my waist as he lowered me from the saddle and to the ground. The look on his face was once again causing my heart to behave in an unseemly manner and I tried to shake it off as I smiled up at him and then began to walk around him. He sidestepped and blocked me. 

"Megs," he began. He was close and I realized he could probably hear the frantic thundering of my heart so I took a deep breath and willed it to stop. 

"Hm?" I asked, inclining my head to one side to indicate I was listening. He opened his mouth as if to say something and then stopped. He looked around the stable yard and I did the same, noticing that we were entirely alone in the approaching darkness. My lips began to tingle in anticipation and I clenched my hands to keep them from shaking. 

He looked back to me and then leaned down closer. I was up against my horse so I couldn't do much more than look up at him and try to pretend like I wasn't begging for him to kiss me. Which I definitely was not. 

He was so close I could see flecks of deep blue in his bright eyes. I could feel his breath against my cheek and I noticed absently that there was a dark stubble across his jaw and slightly down his neck. He looked deliciously real to me at that moment and I realized, with something of an inward, happy sigh, that this was no fantasy or illusion. This was Derek. This was my childhood friend who had grown up to be incredibly handsome and incredibly dear to me. And he was looking at me as though he were going to kiss me.  

I felt his sigh against my skin and then he moved slightly and lowered a kiss on my forehead before slowly pulling away from me. The deepening darkness around us made it hard for me to see his eyes now that he had moved but I felt the warmth in his voice as he spoke. 

"It's late, princess." His deep voice was thick with regret and restraint. "You should go inside."

I nodded obediently and took a step forward. He quickly caught my hand before I could pass him. 

"Will you spend the day with me tomorrow, Squirt?" he queried softly with a fond smile on his face. I looked up at him and then tilted my head to the side, as though considering my options. 

"Yes," I finally agreed. "But only if you promise to behave," I added. He smiled and there was a dangerous edge to it. He brought my hand up to his lips and, without taking his eyes away from me, gently pressed a kiss to the palm. My hand still in his, he then bent so close that his lips brushed against the side of my face as he whispered in my ear.

"No guarantees." He then let go of my hand and, pulling the horses behind him, walked into the stables. 

Chapter 10

The next day Derek was gone and the day after that he still did not return. I was still worried about his reaction on the night of the ball and the interrupted conversation we had been having. I wanted desperately to just see him and know that he was okay that I was beginning to feel a little angry at him for being away so long. 

Father left that morning for Nimhold. He had some important business to conduct and would be gone for at least two weeks and so I did not even have him to consult with or find comfort in. After spending the morning with the ambassador from Calcedone and his wife, I decided it was high time I get out and do something instead of sit around and wait for Derek to return. 

Augusta often made trips to the nearby towns and villages, usually spending her time visiting with the ladies living there and going out on charity rides to pass out baskets of food to the poor and give what aid and comfort she could. I had joined her often in the past and found the excursions to be very fulfilling and had even followed her example back in Nimhold for the past few years. There was nothing quite like the joy of service. 

Augusta was tied up for the day but I engaged the companionship of Lord Trellan and his wife, Lady Anne, and we prepared to set off for the township of Ascal. 

I was approaching the stables to see that my horse was saddled (I would ride alone while Lord and Lady Trellan would take the carriage) when the door swung open and I came face to face with a very flustered looking Prince Ander. 

Prince Ander had left the morning after the ball but had surprised us all by returning the next day. He had originally planned to spend the rest of his time in Chambry with some friends on the Duke of Glasgin's country manor but then apparently decided he would rather stay with us. And by us I mean me. 

I was flattered by the prince's attention but after the excitement of the flattery had died away I quickly realiized that he was not the kind of man I wished to be in love with or spend a good deal of my time with. He was naturally good-natured and often made me laugh, but he lacked a depth of character I found essential in any friend, romantic or otherwise. I received his attentions as kindly as I dared while doing my best to not encourage him in anyway. I was hopeful that he did not have so much of his heart involved that he would forget about me quickly when he returned home. 

He looked surprised to see me and even more flustered than before. He mumbled something about business and then brushed past me towards the palace. I wrinkled my brow in puzzlement as I went inside the stables. 

It took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dimness of the indoors after being in the afternoon sun and when they did I was once again startled by seeing someone I had not expected to see. But this time the surprise was much more pleasant. 

"Derek," I said, the joy evident in my voice and expression and quickly reciprocated on his end. He came towards me and I noticed how regal he managed to make his simple traveling wear look. He didn't need the royal regalia to make it known he would soon be king. His every gesture spoke of the way in which he had been raised and the leader he knew he had to be. 

These thoughts were soon pushed to the side as he took my hand and bowed low over it before placing a kiss on the palm, as he had done the day he brought me Odette. The strange intimacy of it made my heart race and then give a little jump as he smiled up at me. 

"We expected you back much sooner," I informed him. He still held my hand as he leaned casually against the wall of the stable. He nodded in reply. 

"I know. Mother had much to say on the subject." He sighed dramatically but I knew it pleased him to know that his mother would still worry over him and wish for his company. 

"What kept you?" His eyes narrowed shrewdly for the slightest second before the look disappeared in a pleasant smile. 

"Business," he replied vaguely. He gestured to the stalls around him. "Speaking of which... I was hoping you would ride with me. But I see you have some business of your own to conduct. Where are you off to?"

"Ascal. Lord and Lady Trellan are accompanying me but since you were planning on riding anyway, why don't you come with us?" I tried not to get my hopes up but my eyes did all they could to convince him to come along. I was still aching to spend time with him and continue our unfinished conversations, as well as ask him some questions that had been weighing on my mind. 

"It would be a pleasure," he promptly replied. He gave my hand a little squeeze and then set about preparing the horses. He had always had a thing about preparing his own horse and no matter what anyone said to him about it he wouldn't change. He would care for and saddle his own horse or he would walk. It was his job and something he enjoyed. I didn't even think to tell him the stablehands could do it but instead leaned against the half door of the stall to watch him. 

I asked him about his trip and he gave me a hazy answer about negotating some terms with a foreign emissary before drifting off into silence. He obviously didn't want to talk about business so I let it go. 

"I passed Prince Ander on my way in here," I said, breaking the silence as he cinched the saddle up on my black mare. The muscles on his arms tightened perceptibly as he gave it a last good pull and then set to adjusting the stirrup. 

"Oh?" was all he said. His face was turned away from me so I couldn't see what his reaction was. 

"Yes," I plowed on. "And he looked rather distressed."

"Oh?" again. This time I caught a partial glimpse of his face and I could have sworn he was smiling. 

"Did you say anything to him?" I queried suspiciously. Derek looked over his shoulder at me and now I could see that there was a definite twinkle in his deep blue eyes and his cheeks were wrinkled in a smile. 

"Yes," he replied unabashedly. 

"What did you say?" I had to ask when he remained silent. The bridle was now in place on the mare and he flipped the reins over her back before striding slowly towards me with that twinkle in his eye that warned me he was up to no good. 

"I told him he was wrong." He leaned his hands against the stall door just in front of me so that his face was only a few inches from mine. 

"Wrong about what?" I whispered. It seemed only right to whisper, since he was so close. 

"You and me." His breath raced across the skin of my face and I realized I was fighting the urge to look down at his lips. Again. "I am not your brother," he stated softly. "And you are not my sister." 

That was it. The statement, soft and yet so sharp that it nearly took my breath away. There were so many implications in the words and in his eyes that I hadn't time to see them all in that moment but I knew they would have great effect on my heart when I had time to examine them. 

For that moment though I was caught up in the fact that he was so close and so far from acting like a brother and the evidence of my pounding heart and racing thoughts only went to show that I was not feeling like much of a sister. 

"Oh," I finally managed to reply. His smile widened and he leaned in even closer, glancing down at my lips as he did so. 

"I'm glad we're agreed then," he whispered, so close that he kissed my lips with the words. The next instant he had pulled away and was going back to the side of the horse as though nothing unusual had happened. "Shall we go then?" he asked in a casual tone. 

I nodded, putting my hand up against my cheek as he turned away to find that my face felt hot to the touch. Oh heavens, how his teasing made me blush. I cursed his confidence silently and vowed I would not let him have such an effect on me in the future. 

He turned around and captured my gaze in his. The twinkle was gone but had been replaced with a much softer and yet more dangerous question in them. Something that looked like a hidden treasure that I would see if I only came close enough to look. His eyes dared me to come closer. Oh dear, I thought, he was having that effect on me again. 

I grabbed the proffered reins and then practically ran out the door without another word. I needed some air. 

Chapter 9

The following evening there was to be a ball, celebrating whatever it is that Queen Augusta wanted to celebrate. She did not need a legitimate reason to throw a party. 

I didn't see Derek during the day, as he had business to attend to and I was busy listening to Augusta plan for her party. I enjoyed it though, partly because it kept my mind distracted from any other thoughts but mostly because Augusta was acting quite like her self from before the war. Little could have made me happier than to see that haunted glimmer disappear from her eyes. 

The night of the ball was bright with a full moon and a multitude of stars glimmering above. The ballroom doors and windows were opened to let in a fresh breeze and garlands of flowers were hung around every possible piece of furniture to bring in the smells of summer. It seemed to me like a little bit of heaven. 

Maria dressed me in a lovely gown of sapphire blue with flowers of pearls littering the skirt and draped around my neck. She said I looked like a fairy princess and I almost believed her because of the look on Derek's face as I entered the ballroom. 

He approached me from across the room and then gave me a sweeping bow that forced me to push down a chuckle. He came up from the bow with a teasing twinkle in his eye as he held out an arm for me to take hold of. 

"You are breathtaking," he whispered in my ear as he led me across the floor to where Augusta stood with father. I glanced over and saw that he still had that twinkle in his eyes. I don't know what I would have done if he had been serious but because I knew he was teasing I could take the compliment without a blush. 

"Thank you, my good prince," I replied airily. "I am honored to take your breath away." He chuckled and I felt it in the arm I held. 

"You always have," he whispered again. I looked a question at him but he just winked and then we were before the Queen. 

Augusta oohed and aahed over me until I felt myself squirming under the gazes of all those around me and wishing I was anywhere but dolled up at a ball. 

"Dance with me." Derek was already pulling at my hand, leading me away from a surprised Augusta and a quietly laughing Father. I could do nothing but follow.

The music was already playing and he pulled me close and then started laughing in my ear. 

"Why are you laughing?" I asked, pulling away to see his face. He was trying to fight a smile as he laughed but was failing miserably. 

"Oh, Squirt, you really are something," he replied. The dance pulled us apart for a minute and I waited anxiously to interrogate him further. 

"Something? What is that supposed to mean?" He wasn't laughing anymore but his twinkling eyes roamed over my face in amusement. 

"Something special," he clarified. "Here you stand, the most beautiful woman to ever grace this dance floor, and yet you blush at the slightest compliment and look as though you'd rather be feeding the frogs than dancing around this room right now, where everyone can admire you and wonder how that darned foolish prince ever convinced you to dance with him."

I stared at him in shock and it was only with a firm pull on my arm that he got me to continue the dance and not get in the way of the others dancers on the floor. 

"I would rather be feeding the frogs," I finally managed to say after an entire minute of trying to sift through the compliments he had given me and the meaning behind them. He raised an eyebrow at me and then bent closer with an intensity on his face that made him look just a little dangerous. 

"Why?" he asked. "What makes you different from all the other girls?" It wasn't an accusation, just a sincere statement of a fact and wondering curiosity to know why that was so. 

I paused before answering, thinking back to the many times I had tried to be just like those other girls. For so long that was all I really wanted. I wanted the beauty and the compliments and the fame that came with it. I wanted to be fawned over and talked about like every other beautiful princess out there. So what changed? Why was it that now that I had those things - the beauty and the fame and the handsome princes - why was it that I turned away from the compliments and the fawning and the fame and instead wanted to be out feeding my frogs?

I smiled softly and tried to answer as best as I could. The danced slowed for the end of the song and Derek stepped close to me as we circled one another. My voice was loud enough for him to hear but soft enough that no one else could. 

"Because I know what true beauty is." Derek's eyebrows lifted slightly and he leaned closer. "And I know that, despite what may be popular opinion, the things that these people compliment me for and seek for are only fleeting. They will disappear with the seasons and the years and no one will remember that Princess Meglyn was said to be uncommonly pretty or that her hair curled in such a way." I blushed but continued, finding the words coming easily now that I had started. "if I do not find my value in the things they say then I will not be disappointed when they have stopped saying them. I have found that to base my worth on beauty and fame is to build my confidence on a very sandy foundation. I prefer to build on rocks."

The dance ended just then but Derek and I forgot to end with the usual bow or to walk away. We stood on the dance floor, facing one another and locked in each other's eyes. I couldn't break away from the look he was giving me. It was as though he was seeing me for the very first time, and yet in that seeing he understood exactly what he saw. It was the most frightening and yet freeing experience and I felt rooted into the ground. 

Finally the hustle of the crowd around us brought us back to the present moment and Derek offered his arm to me to escort me off the dance floor. As we neared the outer door, where I assumed Derek was taking me so we might talk some more in private, we were accosted by an extremely good looking young prince named Ander. He was tall with light hair and a perfectly smooth face and smile to match. I had already been informed of his arrival the night before and of how every single lady at the ball was looking forward to meeting him. It quite surprised me then that he should so directly seek me out, as he told both Derek and I, and that he should seek my hand for two dances before having even been properly introduced to me. 

"I hope the princess will not think me too forward," Prince Ander apologized with his perfect smile and rather adorable foreign accent, "but I have heard so much of you and I wanted to make certain of enjoying your companionship on this one night I have in Chambry." He looked as dashing as could be and I couldn't find the heart to refuse so I mumbled out an acceptance as he extended an arm towards me.

We began to pass a rather stunned Derek when Ander paused and leaned over to whisper something to him. I'm sure I wasn't meant to hear but with the noise of the crowd and the level Ander was forced to speak at I really couldn't stop myself from listening. 

"You will forgive me, Highness, I am sure," Ander began, the smilie still on his face, "for stealing away your lovely partner, but I was assured that you are quite like an older brother to the princess, if you take my meaning." He took a step away from Derek, who's face was suddenly a study in marble but who's eyes were balls of flame that flashed towards the both of us. "I am sure you will not mind." 

And then Ander pulled at me and I had to turn away from Derek so I lost sight of the strangely and unexpcted vicious look that had entered his eyes. 

Ander and I danced through the next two dances and though I found him to be good company and an enjoyable conversant, I could not take my mind off of Derek or the effect Ander's words had had on him. 

It was true that Derek and I were quite like brother and sister. Everyone knew that to be so. Especially after all of the rumors had been quenched regarding our secret engagement before the war. It was common knowledge that Derek was an older brother to me and I his little sister. 

So why should it so anger him when Ander said what he did? What was there to be mad about?

I didn't have time to think about it before I was asked for another dance by Lord Grishm and then another after that by a different lord. The pattern continued throughout the night and I only caught glimpses of Derek around the edges of the room while I danced. 

I was surprised to notice after a while that he did very little dancing of his own. He danced with his mother, as usual, and with an older duchess who had always had a soft spot for him. But though there were many eligible young ladies throughout the room, and many pretty ones at that, he never asked them to dance. The strangeness of it hit me as the last dance ended and I wondered with all of my tired brain what could have effected him so much as to change a lifelong habit in one night? Derek was always dancing with the pretty girls. That was just a part of him. 

I waited to get a chance to speak with him as the guests began to leave but I was told he had already gone to bed and so I shuffled off to my own room with an uneasy mind and a troubled heart. 

Chapter 8

"It's raining, Your Highess," Maria informed me a week later as I stepped my feet into a pair of slippers and slid off the bed. "Again."

I held in a sigh and nodded as she helped pull the nightgown over my head and then slip a pale blue dress on in its place. It had been raining for two days already and I was frankly very sick of being cooped up in the palace when I wanted nothing more than to be outside with the newest patient Derek had brought me. 

The day after we had arrived, Derek had said he would be gone for at least a day on business. Augusta was glum and I myself was a little disappointed that we wouldn't be able to spend the day together but I let it go and enjoyed the morning in the gardens with Augusta and the afternoon out riding with Father. 

When we came in late that afternoon I was surprised to see that Brom was wandering the stables, waiting for us. He had left with Derek that morning and so I was surprised to see him. 

"Derek would like you to join him in The Cottage," he surprised me by saying as we entered the stables. He took the reins of my horse and helped me to dismount before motioning impatiently with his head towards the garden and then handing my horse over to a groom. 

He then grabbed me by the arm and pulled me along at a quick pace towards The Cottage. We arrived in record time and I was breathing quickly and extremely confused at the fact that Derek was back already and wanting me so urgently to meet him. Brom had refused to answer my questions but looked grim. Well, Brom always looked grim since the war, so that wasn't bothering me too badly. 

Derek was standing in front of The Cottage, pacing back and forth walith a distracted look on his face and I hurried over to him as my heart leaped in worry. 

"What is it?" I questioned, placing my hand on his arm to notify him of my presence. He turned to me and the look on his face lightened considerably. 

"Come with me." He grabbed hold of my hand and pulled me around to the back of the house where we had a little pen set up for a set of piglets that had been brought in the year before. They were gone now but the pen was still there. 

Inside then pen lay the most beautiful bird I had ever seen. A large, regal looking white swan with a slender neck that was curled around its body and into its side. The eyes were closed and it was breathing so lightly I could barely see that it was still alive. And there, on its right side, was stuck the front half of an arrow, deeply imbedded into the wing and shoulder. 

"Oh heavens," I gasped softly. Derek nodded grimly. I didn't waste any more time looking on but instead strode purposefully into the pen and knelt carefully by the side of the wounded bird. 

The next hour was spent almost silently between Derek and I. He watched me carefully and seemed to know what assistance I needed before I even asked for it. He held the bird while I removed the arrow and then helped me to calm it and take it inside where we could care for the wound. 

After that long and tiring hour we had the swan washed and cared for and sleeping, with some assistance from a few herbs and a light tonic and Derek and I were resting outside The Cottage on the grass beneath the tree. 

"Where did you find her?" I finally thought to ask. 

"At the Baron Aldfeld's, just over in Glenfeld," he answered, leaning back on his elbows and watching the sun set over the garden wall. "We were supposed to discuss the terms of the new township established in Glenfeld but ended up being interrupted by his very distressed wife only moments into our meeting." He chuckled. "And believe me when I say that the Baron cannot focus on anything until his wife is perfectly happy." 

I smiled, remembering that his wife was none other than Lady Arella, who was now soulfully and happily devoted to her dear husband. It was good to see that Derek and I had done some good in our little deception on that night before the war. 

"What was distressing her?"

"That bird." He jerked his head towards the structure behind us. "The baron's wife is excessively fond of birds and this one has been her pet for over a year now. But it seems the little bugger escaped and managed to get far enough away to be caught in the field of fire of the baron's nephew's hunting party. The nephew recognized the bird when they came upon it and rushed to bring it back to the manor. From there, Lady Arella brought the matter to the Baron and he then sought my counsel in finding a suitable nurse for the poor bird."

"And naturally you thought of me," I finished for him with a half smile. 

"Naturally," he said with an emphatic nod. "I know of none better suited to nurse an aching wound or love a creature into getting better." He looked over at me in all seriousness and I blushed under his gaze. His eyes held mine until I realized I was holding my breath in anticipation of something but I didn't know what. I slowly let it out as my heart began to thud noisily in the silence. 

"Does she have a name?" I squeaked, breaking the silence and looking down at the grass as though it were of the utmost interest to me. I could still feel Derek's eyes on me but I could also sense that he was smiling now. 

"Odette," he answered promptly. I looked up to see that he was indeed smiling at me. He pushed back up to a seated position and brushed the pieces of grass off his arms. 

"Odette?" I repeated in disbelief. He nodded confirmation and then smiled even more broadly. I smiled in return and found myself suddenly and inexplicably happy. Seeing that the bird had my middle name and my mother's name, it seemed very fitting that I should be the one to nurse her back to health. "Thank you." I reached over to Derek and squeezed his hand in a grateful gesture. 

He surprised me by holding onto my hand and then flipping it over so my palm was facing up. His eyes were focused down and so he did not see the massive blush that spread across my face as he brought my hand to his lips and gently kissed the palm. He gave it a little squeeze and then, still holding onto it, looked back to me. He wasn't smiling but his eyes were gleaming with an emotion I couldn't quite place or remember seeing before. They pierced me like a question and I was breathless with the force of it.

"Derek!" Brom's loud call from the other side of The Cottage shook us out of the moment. Derek gave me a look that said we would continue this silent conversation later and then he jumped up and yelled back to Brom.

The two of them hurried off to some unfinished business soon after and I was left to wonder what exactly had happened and what was going to happen. 

Chapter 7

"Meglyn?" Augusta asked in disbelief. "Our little Meglyn?" she repeated. Her eyes were wide as she scanned me from top to bottom and I smiled uncomfortably. I had been receiving the same reaction from nearly every acquaintance we had encountered since arrving in Chambry. "My, how you've grown!" she finally exclaimed, pulling me into an embrace and then holding me by the shoulders to get a good look at me again. "My, my," she gasped. "You look just like your mother."

I smiled a little more genuinely now, "It is so good to see you, Your Majesty." 

"Oh, yes, I have missed you dearly, my sweet princess," she replied as a tear came to her eye. She was never one to hide her feelings. "I am so glad you have come back home." She embraced me once again and I felt a rush of love for the woman who had always welcomed me into her home and called it mine. 

Augusta then went on to welcome father and I was released to do as I might wish for the remaining hours before dinner with the queen. 

Our journey to Chambry had been uneventful but strangely nerve-wracking for me. The thought of being back in Chambry filled me with a multitude of memories from the past, as well as some anxieties about the future. I did my best to hide them from father but I'm certain he noticed something was amiss because his smile grew as we neared the shore. He must have thought I was thinking of Derek, which I wasn't. Not entirely. 

Fortunately, the majority of the butterflies inside of me quickly flew away when we were informed that Derek was traveling in the east and was not expected home for another two days. I was being given time to settle into the familiar surroundings before having to deal with Derek. For that I was grateful. 

Upon leaving the throne room, I quickly made my way towards The Cottage, eager to see what remained of my animal friends or even if any of them had survived my absence and the long war. 

The Cottage was standing whimsically on the edge of the garden, under the ccontinually growing tree where once our treehouse had stood and I felt my heart give a leap of joy inside of me. So many good memories came crowding back that I didn't have time to enjoy them before I took my first step inside The Cottage door and looked around the small room fondly. 

Everything was just as it should have been. Clean, bright, cheery and full of alll sorts of animals. 

JeanBob's descendents were the first to greet me and I let out an involuntary laugh of glee as they hopped around my skirts and a few crossed in front of me. Speed was the next one I searched for and I found him nestled cozily in a spot of sun by the window. There is not much expression in the face of a turtle but I fancied he was glad to see me. 

The next few moments were spent enjoying the occupants of the room that were unfamiliar to me and I was soon so distracted with my findings that I didn't spare a thought to wonder what the noise was from outside The Cottage before it burst in upon me, startling me from my perch on top a chair where I had been reaching to look inside the nest above the beam holding up the roof. 

I stumbled but quickly caught myself and turned to see who or what the intruder was. 

I suppose it should not have surprised me, but nevertheless it did, to see Derek standing there, looking for all the world as though he were a mighty war hero, which in fact he was. 

We stared at one another in silence for a long while before I shook myself out of the shock and started to get down from the chair. That brought Derek out of his open-jawed amazement and he rushed forward to help me. 

"Megs?" he questioned as he easily swung me down from the chair with his hands on my waist. He was so shocked that he just left them there and I left my own on his shoulders. "Megs?" he repeated doubtfully. "My little Squirt?"

I laughed a little nervously and nodded as my heart pounded out a storm in my chest. This was not how I imagined our meeting going and I was having a hard time gathering my wits and thinking of something to say. 

"In the flesh," I replied with a shaky laugh. He finally took his hands away from my waist and took a step back. 

"Holy horses," he breathed, his eyes going up and down me just as his mother's had. But they finally settled back onto my face and he broke out laughing before that teasing smile of his settled in on his face, crinkling up his bright blue eyes and giving his matured face a boyish look. "Come here, little girl!" he crowed out, pulling me into a bear hug and lifting me off the ground. "Oh, I've missed you."

All of the air whoosed out of me as he squeezed me closer but I was smiling and laughing silently. All of my uneasiness disappeared in an instant and I felt giddy with the joy of seeing Derek again and feeling like we were right back where we had left each other so long ago. 

"Don't break me," I finally managed to choke out, berating Derek for hugging me so tightly. He chuckled but set me down and pulled away, still smiling as he did so. "I thought you were still traveling," I said when I had sufficient breath to do anything more than wheeze. 

He shrugged in reply as he gestured towards the chair I had been standing on, meaning for me to take a seat as he made his own chair out of the table beside it. 

"I came home early to surprise mother." He grinned and stuck his thumbs in his belt loop. "She can't last many days without me before she goes into the mopes."

"I can imagine," I said with an understanding nod. "A mother doesn't easily let go of the son she lost to war for so many years." 

Derek sobered at that and nodded slowly. "There are a lot of things that the war changed about mother," he said softly. We mourned together in silence for a few moments before he visibly shook himself out of it and smiled ruefully at me. "But we'll talk about the war later, my little Squirt. Right now I want to hear about you."

I laughed. That was Derek, always turning the conversation to someone else. It was something we all loved about him and yet something that made him so hard to get to know. I think I was one of the few people that ever got him to open up and spend some time talking about himself. That's why we had always been so close. 

"I am as you see me," I replied, spreading my hands out in a showy gesture and giving him a light smile. 

"Indeed you are," he said, adding a whistle to the end that made my face flame in a blush. He suddenly looked very awkward and his eyes widened. "I am so sorry," he mumbled, obviously referring to the whistle. I had gotten afer him many times over the years for whistling at a female he thought to be attractive. Now to have it directed to me... I didn't know how to react or what might have prompted it and I remained silent. 

"Your father came with you?" he said after a moment of awkward silence. I was grateful for it and I smiled alll the wider to show it. 

"Yes. He is catching up with your mother while I came to check on my little friends here." I motioned to the animals around me and Derek smiled fondly. 

We spent the next few minutes discussing my little patients and Derek filled me in on all of the updates and details I could have wanted. It was a comfortable and easy conversation for us to have and I went back to feeling like it was old times agan. 

From there we turned into other topics and soon the minutes turned to hours and we were lost in reminiscing as we walked around the gardens and the outside of The Cottage. We laughed and teased and caught each other up on the years we had missed. 

When the sun finally sunk below the garden walls and we noticed the chill in the air we reluctantly agreed that it was time to go in and join Augusta and Father for dinner. 

We entered the dining hall together and, after Augusta's initial squeal of delight on seeing Derek and the giggling hug that ensued, she and Father shared an obvious look of joy before settling down again at the table. 

I sighed inwardly but brushed it off without another thought. After all, if they had seen Derek and I together this afternoon they would know beyond the shadow of a doubt that we were nothing more than brother and sister. 

Chapter Six

Wartime is harsh. There is too much loss and too much fear. Families are ripped apart and faith dies. Women are forced to shoulder the burdens their men have born and raise their children alone. These are the things I was left to face alone. 

On the other hand though, wartime polishes and allows the jewels of a kingdom to shine forth. The strong step forward to help the weak and comfort those in need of comfort. Families are formed among those with none. Food is shared and help is given even when there is no guarantee of a return. Faith grows from the broken heart and hope is the pheonix that rises from the ashes. 

My time was consumed with serving and leading my people for the next two years. The war continued in Chambry and father stayed away. Our correspondence was short and rare. We were both very busy, though our work was on two very different sides of the war. 

I learned much and grew more than I can put into words. My appearance may not have changed any more, but my soul was turning into something much more real than the physical would ever be able to show. 

But both good and bad things come to an end and soon the war was over and father was coming home. Nimhold was ecstatic and I could barely pay attention for more than five minutes put together before I made an excuse to rush off to the docks to see if I could catch a glimpse of father's ship. 

One day the fleet came into view. I stopped myself from jumping up and down in excitement and instead waited calmly (to all appearances) while the ship docked and the men began to step back onto Nimholdian soil. 

"Father!" I couldn't contain the shout that came from my lips as father ran towards me. He caught me up in his arms and spun me around as though I were still a little girl. And I clung to him as though I were. 

"Oh father!" I sobbed. The tears streamed down my face and I didn't stop them. I was not the only one crying on the docks that day. 

Father and I spent as much time together as we could get in the next three weeks. I would not leave his side, if I could help it. I wanted to watch his face every moment of the day and hear every inflection in his voice as though I could memorize them all. I felt as though I had been wandering in a desert, thirsty for water, and was just now receiving that nourishing water my soul craved. 

Father told me of the war, though I know it pained him to remember many things, and I told him of his beloved kingdom. He loved most to hear stories of my time in Cascalia and Erston, the towns bordering our castle and the places he had spent much of his growing years. He told me time and again how proud he was of my work and I almost became grateful for the time we had spent apart and the things we had both been compelled to do. 

I wished everything would continue just as it was at that moment. But even good things come to an end. My peace was first disturbed three weeks after father returned, on a beautiful spring day as we were walking in the garden together. 

"Augusta would not hear of my leaving for an entire week," father was telling me. "She planned one celebration after another and would let neither Derek nor I out of her sight for more than a minute." He laughed affectionately. "Though I understand what it is like to be away from one's child for such a long time." He kissed the top of my head and we walked in silence for some time. "Augusta has asked us to come spend the summer in Chambry again," father finally said. I noticed he seemed almost hesitant and I looked up at him with some curiosity. 

"Oh?" I replied noncomittally. "And are we going to?" Father was silent for a moment. 

"Would you like to?" 

"I don't see why not," I said with a smile. I thought perhaps he was nervous that I would not like to be where the war had so recently ended and I wished to ease his worry. 

"You and Derek are no longer children," he said, obviously hesitant now. "And the rumors of your last night together have not entirely abated..." His voice trailed off and he looked towards me with a question in his eyes. 

I laughed the question away and pulled at his arm to force him to continue our walk. 

"There will always be rumors surrounding

Derek, father," I informed him in a light tone. "And until he settles down I suspect every female he's ever danced with will be part of those rumors." I gave him a bright smile. "But I don't want that to keep us away from visiting good friends."

Father sighed and I could feel him studying my face as we walked. I tried to brush it off but I couldn't deny the tension that was growing in the silence. 

"You and Derek have written one another, I understand, since the negotiations have ended?" Father's voice was light and noncommittal now but I could feel he was trying to get at something. 

I nodded. "Yes, he wrote me a few months ago and we have corresponded frequently since." I sighed. "I admit, it makes me miss our time together. Or I suppose it is the innocence of childhood that I miss..." I wrinkled up my nose and shook my head with a sad sigh. "He seems so much like the same prince I've always known in some ways but then at other times..." I sighed again. "War has a way of changing us, doesn't it, Father?"

Father nodded but didn't answer. 

"Has Derek said anything about the rumors?" he asked, still with that light tone that badly concealed his interest in the topic at hand. 

I stopped walking and took my hand away from his arm to place it on my hip as I stared him down with one eyebrow raised suspiciously above my left eye. 

"Yes," I replied slowly. "But only to apologize for the kiss, again, and to say that he hopes the rumors will not prevent me from being his annoying little sister for ever after." Father looked disappointed and I felt my eyes slit even more suspiciously. "What are you trying to get at, Father?" 

"Oh nothing," he said with a wave of the hand as he continued waking. He didn't bring the subject up for the remainder of the day and I did my best to let it go. 

But the short conversation continued to gnaw at me and I found myself lying awake in bed for a good hour that night before drifting off into an uneasy sleep. 

The next morning found me pacing around my room in frustration. All kinds of revelations had hit me during the night and I had arisen with a vegeance, eager to sort them out in the daylight. 

Father had been asking about the rumors surrounding Derek and I because the fact of the matter is that he wanted them to be true! He wanted us to be romantically involved. He had always wanted it!

Of course he had always wanted it. He and Augusta, being such close friends, would want nothing more than for their two children to join the kingdoms through matrimony. Nothing would be closer to their hearts. Oh how blind I had been! 

I slapped my hand to my forehead as I remembered the many looks and happy sighs Augusta had given me during the time following my last night with Derek. I remembered the whispered conversations between her and father and the conspiratorial glances and giggles they would share. And then I remembered the disappointment my father had shown when I got up the courage to tell him that I had only been helping Derek to get a few lady friends off of his case by pretending to be his latest romantic interest. He had made me promise three times over that we were not engaged and when I had done so he had quickly gone off to tell Augusta. I hadn't thought much about it at the time but now it seemed so obvious. Why had I not recognized the signs before?

And now father was asking about my relationship with Derek because, as he had said, he and I were no longer children. It would not be long before we both settled down in marriage. And why not to one another?

Oh it was all so simple and yet so...unbelievable. Never in my life had I considered the very real possibility of falling in love with Prince Derek. After all, he was nothing more than a brother to me. Wasn't he?

The feelings and emotions racing through me were too much to take in at once. I forced them away and then over the next couple of days would pulled pieces out and examine them. 

The conclusion? I was not in love with Derek. I did not see that as much of a possibility in my future, knowing Derek as I did and feeling towards him as a sister might feel to a loved but obnoxious brother. Nevertheless, I could no longer deny the situation we were being placed in and I knew that sooner or later we would have to face the fact that our beloved parents held it very dear in their hearts that we discover if we could love one another. I only hoped the truth would not hurt them too much. 

In the meantime, father and I prepared to travel to Chambry and I did my best to give him little but firm hints that my opinion of Derek had not changed since the time I was a little girl. By the time we left Nimhold he seemed almost resigned to believe me.